Saturday, December 24, 2011
Numb Nuts:An Actual Condition or Is It Just the Holidays?
Looking at the photos in the newspaper, I couldn’t help but notice the pained expressions everybody was wearing. I knew that look. My old drill sergeant helped me learn all about it. It’s that look you get when your nuts are numb. Check ‘em out.
Texas Governor Rick Perry upon being informed that he was speaking in Portland Oregon, not Portland, Maine. If he looks like this a lot, well, you know the reason. His nuts are numb.
President Obama, whose nuts are not numb, just feel that way sometimes after a tough news conference. My, my, my…
How can they accuse Texas Congressman Ron Paul of racisim? Who knew he was black? But what’s he got his hands up there for like that? Is he going to catch a pass? No. Somebody’s throwing one of his old newsletters in his face Incomplete pass, no gain because his gold standard nuts are numb.
Speaker of the House House John Boehner can’t believe that West Virginia Congressman Alex Cantor just reached under the table and tweaked him. No deal numb nuts!
Somebody really should tell Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker that rattling those papers won’t denumbify his nuts.
Oops! Robert Di Niro’s nuts aren’t numb! Lucky, lucky man!
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid wants to know what happened to the spittoon?. O well, the frequency of this condition is proportional with age. Alas, the more, the more.
Paul Bernenke’s nuts are numb because he just realized there’s no wealth at all in the Federal Reserve.
“You’re all just…jealous,” proclaims presidential hopeful Mitt Romney. Journalist Paul Krugman is speechless. “Yowie, powie, zowie, that was a zinger, Batman!” thinks he to himself as his nuts go numb.
Queen Elizabeth getting a rise out of Prince Philip. (Psst. We got nuts. They have jewels.)
This is why everybody in the country’s nuts are numb.
Even Santa ain’t feelin’ it this year cuz his nuts are numb. “It was only a bottle in my pocket, little girl. I swear!”
You got to have numb nuts if you make fun of grandma around the holidays. Merry Christmas Everybody and a Happy New Year!
